Why Audacity Matters in Relationships

Inspired by my conversation with Dr. Mark A. Hicks on The Audacious Living Podcast

Some people think audacity is loud. Big gestures. Grand declarations. Mic-drop moments.

But in relationships, audacity often shows up in quieter ways. It shows up when you tell the truth even though your voice shakes. When you set a boundary because you refuse to lose yourself trying to keep the peace. When you choose emotional courage over emotional comfort.

That’s why I brought Mark A. Hicks back on The Audacious Living Podcast for a special Valentine’s Day edition. Our first conversation focused on his book Learning Love and the five core components he teaches. This time, I wanted to go deeper into the real-life question couples wrestle with.

How do you actually practice love when life is busy, when pain is real, and when the “spark” doesn’t feel automatic anymore?

Audacity is telling the truth without trying to win

Bold honesty is not the same thing as harshness. Audacious honesty isn’t about landing a point, proving you’re right, or getting the last word.

It’s about telling the truth with respect, because you value the relationship too much to let silence become resentment.

If you’re avoiding tough conversations to “keep things calm,” you might be keeping things quiet, but you’re also keeping things stuck.

Audacity is setting boundaries that protect love

Boundaries are not walls. They’re not punishment. They’re not threats.

Boundaries are clarity.

They’re the line that says, “I love you, and I also love me.” They protect the relationship from turning into something unhealthy. They stop small issues from becoming lifelong patterns.

In the interview, we touched on something important. A lot of people think love means tolerating everything. It doesn’t. Love can be patient and still have standards. Love can be kind and still say no.

Audacity is emotional courage, especially with grief

One of the most powerful parts of Mark’s framework is something most people don’t expect.

He says love begins with grief.

Because if you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll eventually bleed on the people who didn’t cut you. And in relationships, unhealed pain doesn’t just disappear. It shows up as defensiveness, shutdown, impatience, or distance.

Audacity is being willing to face what hurt, instead of pretending it didn’t.

Passion isn’t a feeling. It’s a practice.

A lot of couples lose the “fun” and assume something is wrong with them.

But Mark said something that hit hard: our brains are wired to look for danger, not delight. That means fun often has to be intentional.

Sometimes passion returns because you plan it. Sometimes laughter returns because you practice it. Even five minutes of playfulness can start rewiring the relationship back toward joy.

My Personal Reflection

This conversation made me look at audacity in a more personal way.

Because the truth is, it’s easy to be audacious in public. It’s easy to be bold when you’re motivated, inspired, and everyone’s clapping.

But being audacious in a relationship is different.

It means choosing honesty instead of avoidance. Choosing repair instead of pride. Choosing consistency instead of waiting for the mood to hit. It means doing the little things well, even when life is heavy.

That part challenged me, because I know how tempting it is to focus on the big moments and forget that love is built in the ordinary ones.

A real audacious relationship isn’t perfect. It’s practiced.

The little things are the big things

Mark shared a story about a couple married for decades. Someone asked their secret. The husband said he brought his wife coffee every morning, and every morning she said thank you.

That’s it.

Not flashy. Not viral. Not dramatic.

Just consistent love.

And that might be the most audacious move of all in a world full of distractions.

Call to Action

If you want to strengthen your relationship with more honesty, healthier boundaries, and real emotional courage, listen to my Valentine’s Day special conversation with Mark A. Hicks on The Audacious Living Podcast. You’ll walk away with practical tools you can actually use, not just ideas that sound good.

The Audacious Takeaway

Audacity in love is not about big gestures. It’s the courage to practice the little things consistently, especially when it would be easier to avoid, withdraw, or pretend you’re fine.